Becoming a “complete woman”

All this and more has been promised at the Ladies Club of Bangalore! As it turns out I am highly advanced in Indian housewifery skills so a few “Finishing Classes” in north Indian cooking are all I need to become a complete woman. There are no classes offered in cooking south Indian food, that would be like offering lessons to Americans on how to make hamburgers and pancakes.

Shashi is wily woman. Imagine an Indian Julia Child style cook where she’s laughing and chopping as pots are bubbling over, all the while, grabbing ingredients from random locations like her purse pockets. Now, where Julia Child will take 12 pages of details on how to make a soufflé, Shashi will give you a recipe containing 4 steps . . . of a 15-step recipe, with 2/3 of the ingredients. You’ve got to watch her at every moment lest she sneak in an extra spice or double the recipe halfway through. I’ve spent hours trying to re-write the recipes in a fashion that makes the dish re-creatable by anyone. It’s been good practice to actually write a recipe. I have lofty goals to create a Thyme at the Table (my cooking business) blog to warehouse these recipes as well as my own so that anyone can have access to them.

From what I gather the basic goal of Indian curries is to bamboozle the senses. The same 10 spices are used in varying combinations with a few cashew nuts here and a bit of fresh coconut there. The guidelines include: More is More (there are few subtleties) and the more colorful the dish, the more appetizing (to the extend of making food hyper color by adding ground annatto seed)

I’ve also discovered that the Lady’s Club is a front for a retired women’s gambling club. There is a massive racket ball court (that clearly hasn’t been used in a decade) a tiny kitchen and the rest of the rooms are used exclusively for playing gin rummy . . . for money. Everyday at 1pm the rooms burst to life with carloads of women come to try their luck.

The cooking classes thus far have been wonderful and produced delicious results. I mean check out this photo of me making bread! I now know how to make paratha, naan (without a tandoor oven), roti and batura (all varieties of Indian flat breads). I can make tri-colored pulao, malai kofta and paneer butter masala! There is the unexpected bonus of inter-cultural/generational banter with other women. Topics range from: how much money you make, the importance of Vedic astrology, the key to a successful marriage, and where to purchase a steel spice box.

The crowning achievement of my Women’s Studies degree is surely that is has prepared me to graciously accept domesticity courses on becoming a “complete woman”.

- S. Mangosteen